mishi

I am doing well right now. I am eating well and I have been on this program from the Women’s Health magazine website. It is basically a cardio/strength routine for 6 months. There is new workouts every month… I think. I am only on week 1. Almost on week 2. It is a good workout. I have been complaining that I want a personal trainer and this is free and the next best thing. No excuses! I feel better but the thing that makes me pause is that when I strength train my scale weight loss slows. I am not one of those people that can find solice in my clothes feeling looser. I have to see the results on the scale! It is a need to see those numbers go down and it just reinforces my determination and helps with my will power. I am at a stall from last night. I am a daily weigher and I jumped on the scale this morning expecting to see a 170 or even a 169 but I was up .4 of a pound. Ok I know that is not a lot but when your consistantly losing a few pounds a day when it stops it sucks. I did have lots of sodium last night so it could be water retention or bloating or whatever. I need to learn how not to hang on to that scale number so much and to be happy that my arms are slightly less jiggly and I feel strong…

It is so hard to hang on. I have done very badly and gained 22lbs back!! I watch my weight creep up every morning and my resolve strengthens… only to just zone out and eat way too much at night. Not even good stuff! Recently pie and ice cream… lot’s of pie and ice cream. So my weight goes up. I am trying to get my mental strength back to be able to just say no to temptations. I am feeling very private about my struggle. I know I don’t like writing when I am doing badly but these days I don’t want to write about my success either. It’s not that I even mind other people reading… I just don’t want to know they are reading. The fact that I know they are reading and I feel pressured about that. Weird I know but the way I feel. I like to self sabotage. I know that. Just give me a reason. I need to get back into the “zone”. That crazy zone where I can do no wrong and my resolve is so strong that outside factors just don’t affect me anymore! 176lbs today. Can’t bear to change my ticker. Just going to try to make it more accurate by catching up to it!

For the last several days I have been dealing with the flu. What happens when I am not feeling good is I start to crave comfort food. I can’t just go and do something to keep my cravings at bay either. I am pretty much laid out on the couch feeling like poo. However, my goal to keep my calories up is working really well. I even had a 2900 calorie day and my weight still went down the next day. I know this fast weight loss is temporary but I lost 7lbs in the last week! I am proud of myself. Even when it was easy to cave I didn’t and with my calories up I am not as hungry. I can do good during the day and pig out a bit at night but still keep everything in a good place. Goals for calories are 1600. It is still hard to see that number so high and I cringe when it goes over…. last night was 1900 calories but most of it was good stuff… except for the comfort french silk piece of piece I had a few bites of:) I even threw in some EVOO to get a healthy fat into my diet. So things are going. Just waiting to be well. The house is falling apart but I am worried that if I over extend myself I won’t be able to get back to work tomorrow. Just have to go slow. At least I got the dishes done:) Now if I could find a good way to tackle laundry. We are all running out of clothes!!!

After slipping up last weekend I thought all was doomed and was back up to 172! I know I shouldn’t be so focused on the scale but it is so hard to not want to see that number that means your “normal”…. yeah whatever that is;) lol So my struggle is that sure I could go on a low cal diet like I did last year and with calories around 1200 a day I could lose this weight and do it fast but the problem with that is eventually I will crumble and go back to the way I was and even trying to maintain will bring my weight right back up. I can’t deprive myself. I need to be fed through out the day to keep my energy up and to keep from getting mean and grumpy. So my goal is 1,600 calories which is a lot harder than it seems when you are eating well!! Yesterday I got to 1434 calories and just couldn’t bring myself to eat more. If I bounce my cals around though it should be good. I am back down to 168 as of this morning and I am going to stick to it and be good even over the weekend. According to the calorie calculations I did I need 2,334 just to maintain. That is a lot of calories. If I can do this right it may take longer but in the end I will be able to eat more without gaining. Just have to have patience!

Hope you all are doing well!

So I have been trying to stick to my plan of at least 15 minutes of walking a day. Yesterday it was snowy and cold so I did 55 minutes of a workout video. My buns are still sore!! lol Today the ground was clear but there was a snowstorm blowing through. It wasn’t too bad but it was cold and the wind near about ripped my ears off!! But I did it. Walked for 22 minutes in the cold. I am on track. I really want to get to the gym after work and do 40 minutes on the machine. It would be good for me to get some more cardio in with the weights I have been doing. It is hard for me to balance everything. It seems if I just cut my calories without working out I do fine but when I work out I get hungrier and heavier as I gain muscle. However, I know the way to where I want to be is through both exercise and diet so I really need to do both. I need to get in the habit of daily exercise. So far so good but then it’s only been a few weeks. Just have to stay strong and motivated!!… lol well at least strong:P

So I know I should be pretty stoked that it’s a snow day today but the problem is that when I am home I get bored and I want to snack. Even right now there are some massive cravings for the cornbread in the fridge which I know will be full of calories! I just have to hold strong and give myself something to do. I wish I could knit. Snowy days are good for that but I am out of yarn. lol Never would have guessed that being out of yarn would be a problem for me… not that I have lots of yarn but who the hell thinks “Darn, I am out of yarn.”. lol Anywho. I did well last night and lifted weights. I would have liked my cardio to be a little more but I did hit my daily goal. There just wasn’t time. I walked 20 minutes at 4.0 and then later at night did a weight lifting routine that Kim Lyons has in a prevention magazine. It claims to change your body in 4 weeks. Lets see how that does.

So today I am going to finish laundry and do a video for exercise. I really wanted to go for a walk today too. I have been enjoying my lunchtime walks. There isn’t much time but it really gets it out of the way for the day and the only other thing I would be doing would be sitting in front of the computer screwing around. So better to get out and breathe the fresh air.

So I am off to hold strong against my cravings today. Wish me luck:)

So this morning my weight was 168.6. Another pound down. It went up on Sunday because of Burn’s night Saturday night. Lots of food and good times and even though I did well on my portions there was just so much. However, I wanted to participate and the one day of higher weight was ok. Glad to be back down though. I feel good. My pants are starting to fit just a wee bit better. Can’t wait to get down to where I was and even lose more! My goal of 145 seems to be a possiblity! It’s crazy. I am doing well on food and trying to keep a consistant snacking pattern to keep my motor running all day. I am also getting in at least 15 minutes of walking in a day… except Sundays which are optional… as it was raining yesterday:P lol. I tried to wake up this morning to work out but it is so hard when I don’t sleep well. I value my sleep but no worries. Just means I will have to do it tonight… It will be interesting with hubby and my son there. I get really embarrased working out in front of them… hubby mostly. It’s weird I can go to the gym and work out with people all around but when it comes to doing videos at home I feel so self conscious!

Hope you all have a great week! It’s a very good day today:)

I am very excited. My weight has been cooperating and even more than that I have been saying no to cravings and I have been good about putting everything into fitday. It is a lot of work but it really pays off when you see the weight drop off. My mini-goal was to be in the 160’s by the end of the month and I am there. I just keep to keep it consistant for a week. My next goal will be 150’s in 5 weeks. So by the beginning of March. I am feeling good and the motivation has finally come back. I don’t know why but thank god! I felt like I was without a paddle just floating around in circles!! lol So I have been good. Trying to take my own advice and get at least 15 minutes of just walking in everyday. Started on Wednesday. The most important thing for me is losing fat but still being in shape. I am pretty strong already because of all the weight lifting I did but if I could lose fat you would be able to see it more lol. So I am trying to burn more calories and do things that I think work to lose fat: Namely eat less fat and exercise in some form everyday. I am doing well on calories and because it’s in fitday I know exactly what’s going into my body. I was trying to guestimate but it really is easy to under estimate what you are eating!! So back to the drawing board but it’s a bit easier this time…

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

I did well last night. Not so much calories wise but I didn’t eat crap and I didn’t succumb to cravings. Small steps at a time. I really want to get in the habit of daily exercise. Today I am committing to at least 15 minutes of walking… 30 if I have the time. Just to get in the swing of things. I caught my first inkling of spring fever this morning. The temps here have been a bit warmer. Its supposed to be cold and snowing tommorow but for today I hear birds chirping and the weather isn’t bad. Only one layer today lol. Sounds like spring is coming to me:)

Have a good week all!

lol That song was percolating through my head this morning: “two steps forward, one step back”… Just seems the theme of my losing weight these days. I did so well over the weekend then yesterday I succumbed to stress and instead of dealing with it like I should have I ate and ate and ate!! My tummy is very pissed at me today! Grumbling and everything. sigh. Just have to find that control. I am having a crisis with my job. It is something I love to do but after 8 years of doing it I am tired! I want to do something else. I am just not motivated… So the hubby and I have to talk about what direction we want to go from here. I want to be a stay at home mom but that means he would have to give up his business for a more steady income. He is not doing badly now and I so want him to succeed at owning his business… but I also want to have children in the next year or so. Things seem to be moving that way for both of us so we need to discuss the next step. Being a stay at home mom is daunting! I have worked for so long and I feel like I would be giving up some of my independance. I am proud to bring an  income to the family and when I was a single mom I was the income to the family. It is going to be a weird transition to switch! So much to think about. Not pregnant yet though so we have time. sigh

So today back on with a vengance. I am not going to cheat. I am going to find a hobby to do when I get the munchies (lol knitting baby booties;) ) he he he. Have to just bypass those tough times!